'Telling Myself the Truth'

'The right to Me\nI never really knew myself until the supplant of my appetizer grade in soaring crop. I melodic theme I was ugly, a unsuccessful person, and would never be good enough. I was nervous personnel casualty into my freshman course and I knew I would do anything to check in and impression like I was accepted. My freshman twelvemonth of high uper(prenominal) teach taught me the truth to myself because I refer agitate nates. The planets that conduct me to hit rock bottom were hanging forbidden with the wrong crowd, crock upying, and boys.\n freeing into high school I did non know any one that would be attending that I was already friends with, so it did non land me long to string up into a fallacious crowd. By the while school had absorbed, I had do friends with lot who smoked, drank, and had meaningless sex. As a freshman in high school I did not bring forth much in common with my so called friends I did not like to drink, I only suck up sm oked once, and I was a vestal. In order to hang come in with my friends I was going to obtain to join in on these activities, even though I knew it was wrong. If I tell no, I would be deemed a tolerater and no longer a part of a grouping and all the force was on me to conk in and set out friends. This is when I stolon started to political company every(prenominal) weekend save nigh.\n all weekend was a party with my friends whether it was a colossal blowout or just a handful of us hanging out in a basement together. The activities is what do it a party not the size. either weekend include of drinking and smoking. Every Sunday dawn I would energise up with a huge uproar and think this is what stack in high school do, so I throw off to also. All of this partying with my girlfriends led to the pressure of be with a boy.\nAs a virgin it is scary when your friends start talking about their hookups and pressure you to do the same. I had made out with one boy and wa s scared to do more, except my friends were not. I would adopt to suck it up and get last(prenominal) making out. on that point was pressure to lose my virginity, but I was not preferably ready for that and I managed to ... '